Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Wine Group, or, "We Are Family"

Randy and I belong to a wine group. Have I mentioned this?  It's a collection of seven couples who have gotten together every single month for the past ten years to "taste" wine.  I say "collection" because our getting together in the first place was all happenstance.

In the late summer of 2000, Randy and I signed up for a college course called "From Vines to Wines" at our local university. We had drunk some wines and wanted to know how to pair them with foods. For six Saturdays we went to a nearby winery for a two-hour class. The vineyard owner told us how wine was made, types of wines, hosted a tasting event, and taught us the vocabulary that goes along with wines. We sat, each Saturday, with the same group of people of varied ages, but never actually spoke with them, as the "wine guy" did most of the talking.

At the last lesson, when some of the classmates brought their mates, the wine guy suggested that we might want to form a group, get together occasionally, and taste some wines. Right then, one of the women in the class passed around paper and had us write our contact information, so that we might taste wine with people who were as knowledgeable as we now thought that we had become. I suspect that we envisioned ourselves as potential "wine snobs," at that point.

A few weeks later, we went to the home of the organized woman, each bearing a bottle of wine of the same type and an h'ors d'oeuvre.  We tasted, took notes, wrote down our tasting results, swirled the wine in our glasses, and began to talk with each other as we did so.  All we'd had were our first impressions of each other from sitting quietly in the same room for twelve hours.  I am sure we were all curious about each other, and we'd been given an opportunity to investigate!

The collection included eleven people ranging from middle twenties to mid-fifties. We interacted well, got to know each others' names and basic information, and someone said they would host the group the following month, which meant that we were going to get to know each other a little better.

I will not go into detail of the next ten years, 120 months, 120 tastings with this group which we named The Wineos. Nor will I mention the hundreds of bottles of wine that we have drunk.  I will, however, tell you that we have tasted just about every flavor of the grape that exists, and we've only poured one or two bottles onto a bush. (Hence came the term, "Bush Wines") We even had Fortified Wine Night one time...........terrible stuff.............We have also eaten some delicious foods to accompany the wines, and shared recipes with each other.

I will tell you some of the things that have transpired over these ten years, during which these people have become our "family."

We have had four new marriages. Along with Randy and I getting married the next July, one couple got a divorce, and then each got remarried within a few years.  The wineos all danced at one of those weddings, and we were happy for both new couples.  Both of these newlywed couples have remained in the Wineos, remarkably, and everyone gets along beautifully. Our group had grown to thirteen people, with this. Wedding showers accompanied the wine group events!  One cold December, we sat as a group at the wedding of our youngest member when she married a former Marine: member number 14. We celebrated with wine made by the bride's mother!

One young couple adopted twin Russian orphans, and we have watched these two boys grow up. Two of the couples have delivered new baby boys,  and we have had baby showers along with our wine.

Two of us have suffered the death of beloved sons by accident and health issues.  The wine group sat together in a synagogue for one, and drove sixty miles to pay condolences for the other.  The Wineos were there for both grieving families.

Two members have lost  fathers, and one a mother, as well.  We attended the only funeral that was local, but hurt during the others for the grieving son.

There has been the death of pets, celebrations of degrees and passing of the Bar, job changes, health threats, thousands of  jokes, and anything and everything that a normal "family" goes through over the course of ten years. One couple has recently moved out of state, and we are tossing around ideas for a field trip to visit them, as leaving town does not mean leaving the family.

Do we still take notes on what we are "tasting?"  No.  We are too busy sharing our lives with each other, catching up on what has happened since the previous month, caring for each other, and being "family" for one another.

Each December we have a gift exchange game..........same game........and even some of the same gifts are exchanged each year, since it's a white elephant gift game. At Halloween, we've had marvelous costume parties.  We contribute to a fund throughout the year to finance one really big Anniversary of the Wineos event, when we buy finer wines than we normally taste to accompany a lovely dinner. The hosting couple each month usually invites a guest or two to add to the conversational mix. No two wine events are the same. We've visited a winery together for one, a wine bar for another, and know our way around each others' homes and kitchens pretty well by now.

The Wineos "met" at our house last night.  We had a table covered with appetizers and six bottles of wine.  We ate, we drank, we laughed, and a few of us shed a tear or two.  Last night we had "Cabin Fever Night," and each of us brought a poem to read aloud.  Just like our group, the poems were diverse: limericks, Beatles lyrics, light fare and dark, all delivered around our fireplace by and to the people in this patchwork quilt of a "family" that we have put together so lovingly for these past ten years. We truly are family.

L'chaim!




copyright: KP Gillenwater

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Starting at the Starting Line Again, or, I'm a Loser

I did NOT make any resolutions, however one thing I really love about the New Year, January, an upbeat calendar, and a magazine page that says "IT'S A NEW DAY!"  hanging over my bathroom sink, is it's truly a FRESH START.

It's sort of like a starting line.  Here I am today.  Twelve months from now I get another fresh new start, (although the sign tells me I get one EACH day).............but I am taking this January to try to get myself back into my clothing that I have "outgrown."

I have been on some kind of weight program ever since I was fourteen years old, I am sad to say. Then,  Twiggy made me feel fat, and I gained many pounds during a summer in Alabama where I ate grits, fried chicken, hush puppies, gravy, butter beans with real butter.......(Oh, God, it was glorious.........), on a regular basis.  I returned thirty pounds heavier, and my mother said she didn't recognize me. Neither did I.

In high school, I ate the same bowl of chili and tuna sandwich every single day of my life until I had lost 38 pounds and my father told me I looked like a survivor of Auschwitz.  I was elated.  I was also too thin, and looked like a large head on a tiny body.  (I cut my hair like Twiggy, though.)


Having delivered three children and learned how to cook,  I developed a passion for Weight Watcher cookbooks, and that is how I cooked for my growing family. I also walked four miles every night, so for a number of years there was no problem other than losing "baby weight" after my children were born. I had a hypnotist who "suggested" three meals and nothing in between for the baby weight.  It worked.

My children were raised on chicken to the point that we all clucked at the dinner table. 365 chicken recipes are in my file!  We ate Oprah's cook's oven-fried French fries and loved them. I cooked healthy food, and my children left my home trim and slim and full of wheat bread and yogurt.

BUT, for me.................over the past ten years, in a new marriage and no children to feed........it has been a struggle.  Randy brings me chocolate, and he hides pastry in the cupboards.  We belong to a wine group, and we imbibe freely. There are chocolate bars in hiding places that only I know about. Good 'n Plenty boxes turn up as surprises.  He knows what I like!

Five recent years of attending Weight Watchers like a religious fanatic kept the problem at bay, until earlier this year when I decided I was HUNGRY, dammit.  I wanted some cheese sauce, gravy, REAL French fries, a hamburger made with MEAT, and some Mexican tortillas holding gooey stuff.  I went hog-wild.  No kidding.  HOG WILD, like a wild hog......  I have eaten every delectable thing that my eyes encountered for the better part of the last half of 2010.

I was down to one pair of slacks that I could actually button and zip.

It's not a huge number of pounds, when I take into consideration how much I've eaten, but I knew it was there. My unused closets knew it was there, and I knew that Randy knew it was there, too.

I have to tell you that my cookbook collection probably contains a hundred low-fat cookbooks, so it was not lack of knowledge. It was lack of impetus.  I actually remember thinking, "Oh well, most of America is overweight. What's the difference if I let myself go a bit, too?!" 

The difference is:  I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. 

Then came this New Year, the gift of the fresh starting line, and I discovered a web site that I had played around with a few months ago. I log in, and I can track my meals and snacks EASILY on it.  It tells me how much I've lost, gained, and even how I'm consuming nutrients, fat, sodium, and so forth.  It also measures any exercise that I might do.  Pretty good stuff!  I still love Weight Watchers.  It's all good there.  I just am tired of counting points.  I needed to shift gears.

This web site doesn't yell at me or make me feel bad if I go over the caloric intake I have chosen as "ideal."  It just turns the numbers RED to let me know it, like a little hint.   I've been using this website  for two weeks, now.  (Did I mention that it's FREE?  No membership, no costs, just free help.)  I am not going to advertise for them right here,  but I can tell you that there are several out there in Cyberspace, and I found another one that was nearly as good.  I chose this one based on how many foods are in their database.

I have lost 4 pounds.  I really don't want to lose too much more, but anyone who has ever been on a diet, (or a "live-it," because it's a life-long process,) KNOWS that those last few pounds are the most stubborn.

Randy and I are devout Biggest Losers fans.  We cheer for our favorites, feel amazement for those people who go through all of that grueling, torturous exercise, and then get voted off the show.  We have pulled our own treadmill out in front of the TV, set up the rowing machine, and have made some half-hearted attempts at working out a bit.  Not my thing, but I will try.

My cookbooks are ready, and I am motivated once again!  I WANT to keep up the positive eating that I've been doing for these past two weeks.  Food is delicious, and I am back to savoring it, since I am not piling it into my mouth on huge forkloads lately.  I sort of wonder if the last half of  2010 was a mini-vacation of sorts for me...........I think I let myself see how it felt to JUST EAT for the first time in many years without carrying the mental burden around of what it would do to my body.  Alas, it DID do exactly what the magazines and my Weight Watcher leader had told me that it would do. Living in this era, how could I be surprised by this? There is no excuse, at this time, to be ignorant of nutrient or calorie content. We are saturated with information.

This has been a life-long battle for me.  People have told me I didn't look as if I needed to lose any weight, but they had no clue that my slacks button was cutting into my skin, or that my pedometer, small as it is, made wearing pants difficult.  They didn't see me undressed! (or WANT to, either..........)

This was not written to lecture. It is sharing one of my life's issues with you.  I am working on this particular issue right now, and I suppose that I always will be.  My cyber coach is helping me.

 I just wish that website would make some really loud cheering noises when I log in a weight loss!




copyright:  KP Gillenwater

Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Year 2011, or, "Oh Promise Me"

  The New Year is here! 


No written resolutions this year!

 I have found all of the tear-stained, wrinkled lists with notes of promises I have made over the last few New Years.  Almost none of them were accomplished, so why disappoint myself again?

 I do not weigh 115 pounds,  have not given up wine, do not feel appreciation for the folks I told myself I would "try to love," and I still have negative thoughts when my alarm goes off, so, apparently, I am not waking on a positive note each day, as I had said I would do. Case closed.

HOWEVER:  If I were to make some New Years resolutions this year, this is what I would write:

1.  Love my job:  I will get up and smile as I drive to my workplace, enjoy every productive moment of each and every day, and know that I am contributing to the betterment of civilization by doing my job.

2.  Love my coworkers:  Even if some walk past me and do not speak, I will say "Good  morning!" with a cheery smile on my face.  I will gladly chip in to any fund for which one of them is collecting. If they volunteer to do more work, I will jump right in there, too, and use up my lunch or planning time to be sure I give my fair share of "extra," also.

3. Lose those extra pounds:  I will give up wine, butter, cookies, cake, ice cream, cheesy Mexican food, all things delicious and chewy,  pizza, The Macaroni Grill, and the Food Network.  I will not watch the Barefoot Contessa make something yummy and then rush out and buy the ingredients.  I will forego reading recipes in magazines, and no longer leave drool marks on those pages.

4. Exercise:  (Oh yeah........)  I will spend an hour a day doing some form of exhausting physical thing to pump up my heart rate, burn calories and get my metabolism up "there," wherever that is.  I will actually SWEAT............but just a bit.  I will not only WEAR the pedometer, I will keep on walking if it has not hit the magic 10,000 steps per day, instead of just sighing and saying, "Gee, I only went 4,000 steps today. It seemed like more."

5. Forgive people.  I will wear the badge of acceptance of others, and if one offends me in any way, I will hold myself to a higher standard and LET IT GO. I will not allow myself to become ill by carrying a grudge around. 

6. Become organized:  Every desktop, home or work, will have no piles of unfinished clutter.  All paperwork  will be filed immediately instead of laying in stacks awaiting "the right time."  Dead pens will be tossed out.  I will not keep that old pencil with the dried-up eraser just because it has  sentimental value. Clutter, begone!

7. No more shopping for extra stuff that I don't need.  135 purses is enough and I will NOT bring home another one, no matter how cute or roomy it is or if it matches that odd-colored outfit and I will never see another one like it, or it's on sale even...........

Those are sounds of muffled laughter that you just heard. Guffaw, guffaw...........

THANK GOD  I am not about to write this stuff down, making myself miserably guilty for another year! If I did accomplish those resolutions, a halo should appear over my frizzy head!

Alas !  I am dreading going back to work at the end of vacation.  I do not adore all of my coworkers. (And, I dare say, they don't all love ME, either.)  My desks, both at work AND at home, have mounds of lumpy piles,  and I am NOT givin' up that old pencil from Mount Vernon!  And as for my purse collection: It is what it is: a thing of joy and beauty, giving me pleasure.  If homeless purses call my name, SO BE IT, they may join the crowd!

That one about being cheerful in the morning, though.............I might be able to TRY.  But don't quote me.






copyright: KP Gillenwater