I used to have a cartoon that I'd cut from a late August newspaper years ago, stuck to my refrigerator door. It showed a little boy frantically treading water while several vicious sharks swam in circles around his feet. The kid looked terrified, and the sharks had the word "school" written on their backs as they nipped at his heels.
That is precisely how I am feeling these days. I am a middle school teacher, and I have avoided even finding out what day I am supposed to appear at my place of employment, preferring instead to just think, "later!" Later is good!
Later is just about here. An email arrived notifying me of an opening program for all teachers on August 30th, and I wrote that dreaded date into my full-of-fun-up-until-now calendar, then smiled gleefully when I realized there was a full week or so before then. A REPRIEVE !
Not to belabor a point, but would you believe that I also received a phone call with a deep, doom-ridden voice, a recorded message, to tell me about that same event???? An email was not enough? I had to LISTEN to the memo, too?
When my kids were growing up, Oh, how I loved summer vacation! I was so happy to have them home with me to play with, to take to the swim club, to sleep in and let them sleep in, too! JOY ! I served PBJs on a picnic table, and poured Kool-Aid with happiness in my heart, loving almost every moment of having them home and in my daily life. The only "schedule" we kept was to be at the pool when it opened at 12:30. We went to bed when we were sleepy, woke up when we were not, and my childrens' hair turned white from sunshine, while they got farmer tans and had contests over whose feet were the dirtiest at bath time.
On the last day of summer vacation, there would be some excitement over the new year. All except for ONE of my darlings, Stephen. The sharks began swimming around his feet on August first, and he had the look of a condemned man for the rest of the month. The elementary principal once told me that Stephen "didn't really come back to school until about October, and he let himself out somewhere about mid-April." (Not that he got bad grades, he just wasn't really "there!") Stephen was mentally barefoot, and swimming, running, riding a bike, making sand castles, hanging out with a pack of other kids in the neighborhood, and generally being a KID.
The night before school restarted each year, he and I would walk down to the Dairy Queen, order one last summer treat, and sit, without talking, at a table. Then Stephen would cry. Then I would cry. We'd say things to each other like, "It went too fast, " or "I don't want summer to end." We'd wipe our tears with little Dairy Queen napkins, and sniffle a lot. It was misery at what we considered to be its worst, at that time.
Stephen is now a young man with a job and an apartment. He doesn't get a "starting point" and a "stopping point," anymore. He just works like the rest of the world, pretty much nonstop, except for an occasional short vacation or a day off.
I, on the other hand, teach at a middle school, and I have had the past nearly three months off to travel, read, sleep, cook, clean my house, visit with friends I don't usually have time to see, gain a few pounds, lose the stressed-out look on my face, and generally enjoy each day to the fullest. I got the privilege to be gloriously bored!
I believe that being bored is a necessity, so that we learn how to entertain ourselves. Without enough "down time" we don't fully appreciate "up time," for one thing. For another, I think brains work better when there's a little bit of boredom delightfully endured. It is vital to life.
The sharks have already gotten and kept Stephen, and in another ten days, they are gonna get ME, too.
I need to figure out how to keep some time for myself, have some boredom to savor, keep reading, and keep getting enough sleep. Otherwise, I will truly feel that I have been eaten up, alive, by my job.
On August 29th, I wonder if Stephen would let me take him to Dairy Queen and allow me to cry. And would HE cry, with me, and FOR me, and for himself, too?
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Notes From a Garage Sale Guru
I am the original "Second Hand Rose." I should have that put on my gravestone (if I decide to have one) since I have been garage saling since 1969. I know, I know...........that's a long time. I would hate to tell you the percentage of things in my home that are second-hand. When people compliment me on things, I have learned to just say, "Thank you!" So even if you did visit me, you would not find out!!!
The first garage sale I ever went to, (August of 1969, and I could even show you where it was!), I had NO CLUE as to what it even WAS! There was the "Garage Sale" sign, and people coming and going. I was young, single, and stupid. I had ten dollars to my name. When I left that garage sale, I was the proud owner of a pair of mahogany candlesticks, a mirror for my apartment, a huge smile on my face, and two dollars left over ! I had found Nirvana! (I would hate to tell people that something this simple was a "life-altering moment," but it WAS!!!) I had discovered "used is still good!"
I will not give you the glorious details of having dressed my children in designer outfits, or decorating my home with valuable pieces of artwork, but I will tell you my "take" on what makes a GOOD garage sale as opposed to a "LOUSY" garage sale. (Just in case you are planning on having one......and we ALL do, sooner or later, so listen up.)
First of all, let me assure you, IF YOU HAVE IT, THEY WILL COME. But it doesn't hurt to have a little savoir faire when you put on a garage sale.
First of all, SIGNAGE IS IMPORTANT. Even if there is not room for much on your signs, be SURE that the STREET NAME is visible. Don't worry about the house number: A good garage saler will sniff you out. Put signs on major corners and if you plan ahead ARROWS pointing in the direction to go are so helpful! It's hard to slow down in traffic to read your sign!! POINT AND SHOOT! And put LOTS of signs out there! If you add balloons or bright colors, that will get our attention, also! (And for Pete's sake, don't put them up a day ahead, unless you want us THERE a day ahead!!!)
And this is important: WHEN YOUR SALE IS OVER, PLEASE REMOVE YOUR SIGNS. There is an unspoken rule of good garage saling that it is only "right" to do so. Call it anti-littering, or whatever, but for our sake, PLEASE take your signs down so we don't see them the next week, (and the next, and the next) and either get irate at your lack of consideration for others, or worse: Some other garage saler follows those signs to NOTHINGNESS. That's just plainly rude. Clean up after yourself, please!
Next, PUT PRICES ON YOUR STUFF! Don't think that we're going to stand there and ask you for every single little price on every little doo-dad that you have dragged out of your home. Time is of importance to a garage saler: It's tacky to expect US to come there, then BEG you to tell us what you want for something~ Tell us up front!!!
Now, if we disagree about the value of something, there are certain "rules" to go along with that, too. Garage salers should have learned to say, "Will you take xxx number of dollars for this instead?" Nine times out of ten, you might lower the price. If someone says, "I'll give you......" nobody will blame you for saying, "Not on your life." Courtesy should rule. (You can now deduce that I have both been a seller AND a buyer.)
Put out only clean, unbroken, usable merchandise! I bought a crock pot that didn't have a "warm cycle," and a garlic peeler that the seller swore worked, but it didn't. DON'T DO THIS ! If it's broken, throw it out ! We will REMEMBER WHERE YOU LIVE. Not that we're going to do anything TO you, mind you, but it's just BAD KARMA! Every time I drive by the home of the crock-pot-rip-off-artist, I REMEMBER!..........just think of the negative vibes over the next many years that I pass by her house! (..........She gets to the Pearly Gates, St. Pete reminds her about the "warm cycle," and she is doomed to REAL warming....! All that bad Karma catches up. Get it?)
Some clothes will sell, but anything with missing buttons or has been worn by a bull moose on the run through a field of dirt needs to be pitched ahead of the sale. CLEAN is the key word. Things sell better on hangers, too.
No offense to anybody, but if you (God forbid) smoke, DON'T SMOKE ! Your stuff stinks. We don't want to be smoked on while we're in your garage, even if it IS your garage and not ours. And most of us who are non-smokers will politely stay for about two seconds before we do a turn-around, say "Thanks," and head for the car. The truth hurts. Sorry.
If you have kiddies at your house when we show up, please find something for them to do out of our way. I had a vicious child rip a stuffed bear out of my hands one time, at a sale. It had belonged to him, and he wanted to play with it! Better yet, if the kids are not good at selling lemonade and cookies, farm those kids out to Grandma for the day!
STREET SALES are fun for the people who do them, and it cuts down on gas for those of us who shop, so they're fun. We buyers KNOW that you all have already traded or sold among yourselves, though, and the really "good stuff" is gone when we hit a street sale. Nuff said.
The very coolest street sale I ever attended was in Columbus, Ohio, some years ago: It was an entire neighborhood,( too many folks to have pre-shopped at each others' homes,) and they had a PORTA-POTTY on several corners in the neighborhood!!!! Street sales are a mixed bag. I wouldn't drive BY one, though.
Please drag your stuff out of the garage and display it in the driveway as well as in the garage. Just this morning I got claustrophobic in a garage at a lovely home. It was dark and crowded in that garage, with too many people pawing over small items in the dark. It was a sunny day outside, and there was no reason on this planet why some of those tables of "stuff" couldn't have been pulled out along the sides of the driveway. No dark cloud was hovering overhead threatening rain. I had to leave the garage, wondering what I'd missed, but at least I got over the shut-in feeling.
A couple of other things that will make your sale successful:
a) DON'T leave your cash box where it can be taken away. It has happened.
b) Keep those kiddies' bikes out of the driveway so we don't trip over them.
c)Don't expect your "stuff" to be worth too much. Be realistic, and remember: IT IS USED whether you actually used it or not. You are going to have to get over it. As soon as you bought it, it became "used," and lost value. If we want "new," we can buy it at the store for the same price.
d) Books need to be displayed spine-up so that we don't have to paw through tables full of books, just for the next shopper to have to do the same thing. If I can't read the title without touching the book, I am walking away, even if you have the best book of the year at the bottom of that mess!
e) Watch us. Most of us are not thieves, but there are SOME. But please don't follow us around as if you think we're serial garage-sale-thieves planning the next jewelry heist, either. Don't hover, just
watch.
f) And finally, PLEASE don't give a sales pitch. If we like it, we will buy it. Period.
WHY DID I WRITE THIS POST??? Because today I went garage saling, my favorite thing to do. I always think it would be soooooooooooo wonderful if all the sellers KNEW THIS STUFF !!! Now you do.
My favorite purchase??? I know you are wondering that ! It's a piece of artwork that a woman had received from a much-hated relative. There was a $500 price tag on this item when the much-hated relative gave it to her (one of THOSE people....) and all she wanted was to GET RID OF IT. I offered her three dollars, and she took it. (I am sure that the seller envisioned that I was also taking away this much-hated relative with me, or HOPED that I was doing that........HA! Nope! I left the much-hated-mother-in-law at the end of the driveway, and carried home my prize.)
If you visit my home, will I tell you which item it is? NOT A CHANCE! If you were to admire it, (and you would, ) I would merely say, "Thank you!!!"(....and smile.)
The first garage sale I ever went to, (August of 1969, and I could even show you where it was!), I had NO CLUE as to what it even WAS! There was the "Garage Sale" sign, and people coming and going. I was young, single, and stupid. I had ten dollars to my name. When I left that garage sale, I was the proud owner of a pair of mahogany candlesticks, a mirror for my apartment, a huge smile on my face, and two dollars left over ! I had found Nirvana! (I would hate to tell people that something this simple was a "life-altering moment," but it WAS!!!) I had discovered "used is still good!"
I will not give you the glorious details of having dressed my children in designer outfits, or decorating my home with valuable pieces of artwork, but I will tell you my "take" on what makes a GOOD garage sale as opposed to a "LOUSY" garage sale. (Just in case you are planning on having one......and we ALL do, sooner or later, so listen up.)
First of all, let me assure you, IF YOU HAVE IT, THEY WILL COME. But it doesn't hurt to have a little savoir faire when you put on a garage sale.
First of all, SIGNAGE IS IMPORTANT. Even if there is not room for much on your signs, be SURE that the STREET NAME is visible. Don't worry about the house number: A good garage saler will sniff you out. Put signs on major corners and if you plan ahead ARROWS pointing in the direction to go are so helpful! It's hard to slow down in traffic to read your sign!! POINT AND SHOOT! And put LOTS of signs out there! If you add balloons or bright colors, that will get our attention, also! (And for Pete's sake, don't put them up a day ahead, unless you want us THERE a day ahead!!!)
And this is important: WHEN YOUR SALE IS OVER, PLEASE REMOVE YOUR SIGNS. There is an unspoken rule of good garage saling that it is only "right" to do so. Call it anti-littering, or whatever, but for our sake, PLEASE take your signs down so we don't see them the next week, (and the next, and the next) and either get irate at your lack of consideration for others, or worse: Some other garage saler follows those signs to NOTHINGNESS. That's just plainly rude. Clean up after yourself, please!
Next, PUT PRICES ON YOUR STUFF! Don't think that we're going to stand there and ask you for every single little price on every little doo-dad that you have dragged out of your home. Time is of importance to a garage saler: It's tacky to expect US to come there, then BEG you to tell us what you want for something~ Tell us up front!!!
Now, if we disagree about the value of something, there are certain "rules" to go along with that, too. Garage salers should have learned to say, "Will you take xxx number of dollars for this instead?" Nine times out of ten, you might lower the price. If someone says, "I'll give you......" nobody will blame you for saying, "Not on your life." Courtesy should rule. (You can now deduce that I have both been a seller AND a buyer.)
Put out only clean, unbroken, usable merchandise! I bought a crock pot that didn't have a "warm cycle," and a garlic peeler that the seller swore worked, but it didn't. DON'T DO THIS ! If it's broken, throw it out ! We will REMEMBER WHERE YOU LIVE. Not that we're going to do anything TO you, mind you, but it's just BAD KARMA! Every time I drive by the home of the crock-pot-rip-off-artist, I REMEMBER!..........just think of the negative vibes over the next many years that I pass by her house! (..........She gets to the Pearly Gates, St. Pete reminds her about the "warm cycle," and she is doomed to REAL warming....! All that bad Karma catches up. Get it?)
Some clothes will sell, but anything with missing buttons or has been worn by a bull moose on the run through a field of dirt needs to be pitched ahead of the sale. CLEAN is the key word. Things sell better on hangers, too.
No offense to anybody, but if you (God forbid) smoke, DON'T SMOKE ! Your stuff stinks. We don't want to be smoked on while we're in your garage, even if it IS your garage and not ours. And most of us who are non-smokers will politely stay for about two seconds before we do a turn-around, say "Thanks," and head for the car. The truth hurts. Sorry.
If you have kiddies at your house when we show up, please find something for them to do out of our way. I had a vicious child rip a stuffed bear out of my hands one time, at a sale. It had belonged to him, and he wanted to play with it! Better yet, if the kids are not good at selling lemonade and cookies, farm those kids out to Grandma for the day!
STREET SALES are fun for the people who do them, and it cuts down on gas for those of us who shop, so they're fun. We buyers KNOW that you all have already traded or sold among yourselves, though, and the really "good stuff" is gone when we hit a street sale. Nuff said.
The very coolest street sale I ever attended was in Columbus, Ohio, some years ago: It was an entire neighborhood,( too many folks to have pre-shopped at each others' homes,) and they had a PORTA-POTTY on several corners in the neighborhood!!!! Street sales are a mixed bag. I wouldn't drive BY one, though.
Please drag your stuff out of the garage and display it in the driveway as well as in the garage. Just this morning I got claustrophobic in a garage at a lovely home. It was dark and crowded in that garage, with too many people pawing over small items in the dark. It was a sunny day outside, and there was no reason on this planet why some of those tables of "stuff" couldn't have been pulled out along the sides of the driveway. No dark cloud was hovering overhead threatening rain. I had to leave the garage, wondering what I'd missed, but at least I got over the shut-in feeling.
A couple of other things that will make your sale successful:
a) DON'T leave your cash box where it can be taken away. It has happened.
b) Keep those kiddies' bikes out of the driveway so we don't trip over them.
c)Don't expect your "stuff" to be worth too much. Be realistic, and remember: IT IS USED whether you actually used it or not. You are going to have to get over it. As soon as you bought it, it became "used," and lost value. If we want "new," we can buy it at the store for the same price.
d) Books need to be displayed spine-up so that we don't have to paw through tables full of books, just for the next shopper to have to do the same thing. If I can't read the title without touching the book, I am walking away, even if you have the best book of the year at the bottom of that mess!
e) Watch us. Most of us are not thieves, but there are SOME. But please don't follow us around as if you think we're serial garage-sale-thieves planning the next jewelry heist, either. Don't hover, just
watch.
f) And finally, PLEASE don't give a sales pitch. If we like it, we will buy it. Period.
WHY DID I WRITE THIS POST??? Because today I went garage saling, my favorite thing to do. I always think it would be soooooooooooo wonderful if all the sellers KNEW THIS STUFF !!! Now you do.
My favorite purchase??? I know you are wondering that ! It's a piece of artwork that a woman had received from a much-hated relative. There was a $500 price tag on this item when the much-hated relative gave it to her (one of THOSE people....) and all she wanted was to GET RID OF IT. I offered her three dollars, and she took it. (I am sure that the seller envisioned that I was also taking away this much-hated relative with me, or HOPED that I was doing that........HA! Nope! I left the much-hated-mother-in-law at the end of the driveway, and carried home my prize.)
If you visit my home, will I tell you which item it is? NOT A CHANCE! If you were to admire it, (and you would, ) I would merely say, "Thank you!!!"(....and smile.)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
"Hello, and Welcome to Taiwan Radio!" That is what my normally silent computer screamed at me this morning when I turned it on. So, I am typing my very first post of this blog from my laptop, as my "home" computer has picked up some kind of bizarre virus. Bear with me. That machine in the lower level of my house has been a mystery and a misery to me since the day I bought it.
I am not a computer whiz. I am a teacher and a writer and a lover of fine things and fine men. (See that, dear hubby?) I have spent years "making do" and getting along .............and that is what this blog is going to be about: How to Get Along on the Proverbial Shoestring, and/or Get By, By the Seat of Your Pants............because I have had so many friends who have learned something from me about this, I have decided to share the wealth and broadcast the how-to knowledge with whomever chooses to "learn." That's you, apparently!
Let me tell you that I raised three kids, and they never went naked or hungry. I've been married twice, owned four houses, four dogs, several cars, and have lots of wonderful friends, and the world's best husband: (all my friends would kill to have him............) I have taught language arts for the past eleven years, sold jewelry at in-home parties, worked at the mall, substituted, taught 4th grade, and done it all with a smile on my face. And if you bought that last phrase, then I need to put some ads on this blog.
I am a fairly "normal" person. No, I take that back. I know I am not "normal," never have been, never will be. I think too much, do too much, talk too much, and according to my husband, (whom I shall call R, to save him from embarrassment,) I ask wayyyyyyy too many questions: sometimes as many as three in a row without an answer for the first one. No, I am NOT normal, which is why I am writing this blog. Who wants to read something written by "Normal?" (I have read plenty written by "Abnormal," and I am not in love with most of that, either........I am sort of somewhere leaning towards normal, I guess. (In my dreams.)
I am exceptional. (smile) I am feeling my abundance, and I want to share it with the world. I do things right. (smile) I do my best, try my best, and even when it all doesn't turn out the way I want it to, I have given it my all. It's called GUSTO. R calls it "passion." (God, I love that word when HE says it.)
So here's "post one".........and I promise that I will be writing about issues, ideas, fun, food, work, play, people, shopping, relationships, and all things that concern us at one time or another........(it may not concern YOU, but it concerns ME, and for that reason I feel the need to write about it.) I will share what I know about EVERYTHING. And I know a little bit about "everything," so get ready!
A friend told me that my writing reminds her of Owen Meany, a character in John Irving's fabulous book, A Prayer for Owen Meany, (which just happens to be one of my most favorite books,) because I write with LOTS of capital letters AND lots of parentheses. I want my writing to READ the way I WROTE it..........so if it's in capitals, scream it in your head when you read it. If it's in parentheses, say it softly, as an "aside," (that theatrical thing you learned about when you were forced to read Shakespeare back in high school...."aside,"........to the side.) That way there is NO doubt (however small) about the meaning of what I am writing. (Incidentally, I love seeing a good Shakespearean play: Just so we understand each other.)
I suppose that the first readers of this new blog will be people to whom I am close enough to admit that I actually thought I have things worth telling the world. Then I might branch out to the "public." If you are "the public," HI! (and if you're an old friend, just smile and think to yourself, "There she goes again," and try to keep on loving me, if you do. (and if you just tolerate me, just tolerate me some more, please.)
I am going on a two-day trip with my 31 year old daughter, M, tomorrow. (Consider it a fact-finding mission.) I will tell you about it when I get back........or not, depending on how it goes.
Until then: Today's calendar page from my Louise Hay tear-off-a-page-a-day calendar told me that "I am a powerful person because I choose to live in the present moment." She's right. I am living in the present moment. The "powerful" part I am still working on!
I am not a computer whiz. I am a teacher and a writer and a lover of fine things and fine men. (See that, dear hubby?) I have spent years "making do" and getting along .............and that is what this blog is going to be about: How to Get Along on the Proverbial Shoestring, and/or Get By, By the Seat of Your Pants............because I have had so many friends who have learned something from me about this, I have decided to share the wealth and broadcast the how-to knowledge with whomever chooses to "learn." That's you, apparently!
Let me tell you that I raised three kids, and they never went naked or hungry. I've been married twice, owned four houses, four dogs, several cars, and have lots of wonderful friends, and the world's best husband: (all my friends would kill to have him............) I have taught language arts for the past eleven years, sold jewelry at in-home parties, worked at the mall, substituted, taught 4th grade, and done it all with a smile on my face. And if you bought that last phrase, then I need to put some ads on this blog.
I am a fairly "normal" person. No, I take that back. I know I am not "normal," never have been, never will be. I think too much, do too much, talk too much, and according to my husband, (whom I shall call R, to save him from embarrassment,) I ask wayyyyyyy too many questions: sometimes as many as three in a row without an answer for the first one. No, I am NOT normal, which is why I am writing this blog. Who wants to read something written by "Normal?" (I have read plenty written by "Abnormal," and I am not in love with most of that, either........I am sort of somewhere leaning towards normal, I guess. (In my dreams.)
I am exceptional. (smile) I am feeling my abundance, and I want to share it with the world. I do things right. (smile) I do my best, try my best, and even when it all doesn't turn out the way I want it to, I have given it my all. It's called GUSTO. R calls it "passion." (God, I love that word when HE says it.)
So here's "post one".........and I promise that I will be writing about issues, ideas, fun, food, work, play, people, shopping, relationships, and all things that concern us at one time or another........(it may not concern YOU, but it concerns ME, and for that reason I feel the need to write about it.) I will share what I know about EVERYTHING. And I know a little bit about "everything," so get ready!
A friend told me that my writing reminds her of Owen Meany, a character in John Irving's fabulous book, A Prayer for Owen Meany, (which just happens to be one of my most favorite books,) because I write with LOTS of capital letters AND lots of parentheses. I want my writing to READ the way I WROTE it..........so if it's in capitals, scream it in your head when you read it. If it's in parentheses, say it softly, as an "aside," (that theatrical thing you learned about when you were forced to read Shakespeare back in high school...."aside,"........to the side.) That way there is NO doubt (however small) about the meaning of what I am writing. (Incidentally, I love seeing a good Shakespearean play: Just so we understand each other.)
I suppose that the first readers of this new blog will be people to whom I am close enough to admit that I actually thought I have things worth telling the world. Then I might branch out to the "public." If you are "the public," HI! (and if you're an old friend, just smile and think to yourself, "There she goes again," and try to keep on loving me, if you do. (and if you just tolerate me, just tolerate me some more, please.)
I am going on a two-day trip with my 31 year old daughter, M, tomorrow. (Consider it a fact-finding mission.) I will tell you about it when I get back........or not, depending on how it goes.
Until then: Today's calendar page from my Louise Hay tear-off-a-page-a-day calendar told me that "I am a powerful person because I choose to live in the present moment." She's right. I am living in the present moment. The "powerful" part I am still working on!
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