Dinner was in the bowl one night, when a TV ad asked me, "Are you prepared for heavy bleeding?" I had to put my tomato bisque back into the frig.
The one that threatens "Sudden Death," is the killer. I actually watched it once just in case I might be the next to go, suddenly, of course. I am not sure what was being advertised, because I was overwhelmed with a need to take my blood pressure and listen to my heart with a stethoscope, just in case I might be the next candidate for not a long-lingering death of pain and anguish, accompanied by brittle bones and flu-like symptoms, but SUDDEN death. Like in the next minute or so.
When did television stop advertising Nestles Chocolate and Mr. Clean, and start selling us DISEASE? I would bet that most of us couldn't even name the drug that is being pushed by these commercials, but we can certainly diagnose our friends and relatives from the symptoms that we learn about from the constant barrage of the illnesses that are being "sold" to us. Frankly, that little green cartoon guy who I believe is supposed to represent a blob of mucus disgusts me. He is about as amusing as having my air passages swollen shut, coughing uncontrollably, and downing an expectorant at the same time. Please~!
I believe that some "diseases" are actually CREATED by these drug companies for the sole purpose of selling us the drug that will "cure" it. While I believe there is great medical research going on, I also think there is a lot of salesmanship being done by prescription drug companies, to sell us something that we probably do not need, if indeed it does not harm us by taking it.
I took the Fosomax. Now they tell me it may have actually HURT my bones more than helped them! Do I even dare to believe that I NEED something for my aging bones again? I threw my last Boniva tablet away on the day the Fosomax scandal broke. Now they are advertising on TV to find those of us who took it, for the class-action lawsuit that is following it. Count me IN! (I got $1.79 once, after a Synthroid case............in other words, don't plan to pay off your loan from the Fosomax scandal, either!)
And the side-effects! I would rather have some of the DISEASES than the side-effects of the drugs...........the incontinence, blurred vision, drowsiness, constipation, interrupted sleep, diarrhea, stomach pains, aches, swollen tongues and throats, problems passing urine, liver damage and even, in some cases DEATH, from taking these drugs!!! Not to mention the dry mouth................ All because I had a headache or a sore joint?????? (Hello???!!!)
Here's my plan: Since we keep the TV controller right on our tummies while we watch anything on the tube anyway, Randy and I have made a conscious decision to MUTE any and all drug ads and any commercials that want us to develop certain symptoms so we need said drugs. We've been doing this for about three weeks now. As soon as they mention the illness, we slam our finger down on that button, and shut those suckers up. We look at each other and TALK about other things. We won't even LOOK at them! Sometimes the TV people seem to know what we're doing, and they show the very same commercial just a few minutes later to try to catch us after we de-mute. HA! We're ready for them!
Guess what? I believe that we are feeling better already! My pre-osteoporosis has all but disappeared from my list of things to worry about. I will see Sally Field on her Sunday night show, but I am done worrying about HER bones, AND mine. No stomach pains, no skin rashes, ingrown toenails, or sudden death have eaten away at our bodies since we shut the sound off for these commercials of doom. That is exactly what they are: scare tactics. It's sort of like the letter from the water and gas companies that fill my mailbox, telling me how much I need to insure the water pipes and gas lines into my home (virtual "home intestines" that I cannot see, but ought to insure!!!) I have no problem tossing THOSE into the trash, and I am getting really good at muting the drug pusher on my TV before he even finishes the name of the disease!!!
I suppose we could hold our fingers in front of the screen, cross-like, and perhaps we might even take up hissssssing at the ads, just for fun. We haven't gone that route yet, but it might make for an entertaining evening, unless they ran the full gamut of sickness ads, and all we did was cross and hiss every few minutes. (What if we had company?)
It could be the rush of adrenaline and the positive enzymes from laughing each time we hit MUTE (and I am sure that one of you wants to tell me so........) but that is a moot point. (Note moot and mute........I teach reading.............) I FEEL BETTER just knowing that I am not filling my brain with symptoms and sickness. ENOUGH ALREADY, YET! Out, out, damned ad!
I know that we are not alone in our feelings about today's TV ads. I've heard the kvetching from friends. We want to see Tony the Tiger do his gig, that guy named Juan pick coffee beans, have Betty Crocker sell us a cake mix, and hear some merry jingles about fast foods and automobiles. Remember the fun of "Let's ask Mikey!" and "We're having Shake n' Bake, and I helped?" Healthy Campbell's kids with round faces made us smile and FEEL GOOD back in the day. No more. Today all we hear is, "Ask your doctor!"
There's plenty of sickness and symptoms without having to have it sold to us. Just for one week, TRY IT. Don't listen to those ads! Hit MUTE. Spend those minutes talking to the person who's watching TV with you instead, then when the miserable warnings of death and doom are over, turn back on the sound and enjoy the murder and mayhem on Law and Order.
Copyright: KP Gillenwater
